Fruits From the Fast

Believe it or not, we're already having some answered prayers, before the fast is even over!

One of Shaun's resource teachers found me at school today to tell me that she's seen a "noticeable improvement" in his math and reading skills. In fact, she said she was "just tickled". School has been a real struggle this year, and to hear those words coming from a lady who just doesn't sugar-coat anything- well, it was HUGE! I also found a way to get Shaun to take his new seizure medication. The receptionist at his psychiatrist's office told me to try putting it in applesauce. I had my doubts, but tried it tonight and it worked. Praise be to God.

Chris and I have also been fasting for our finances to improve. We had a big insurance bill to pay, and the money was just not there. We've been praying so hard for God to help us find a way to take care of this- and He did. We got our bill paid last night- before the cancellation deadline today. That's 3 prayer requests already ansered. I can't wait to see what else He's got in store for us. Thank you, God!

Fasting and miracles

Shaun got a double-dose of heavy prayer tonight. We all went to church early with Chris, and before band practice the members of the Kidpak band all laid hands on Shaun while praying for his healing. They also praid for Chris and I, so that we would have knowledge on how to care for him and for our marriage. They prayed for Shaun's doctors. Pretty powerful stuff.

After the service Chris, the boys and I walked through the prayer line in the Miracle Service. We were all prayed for and annointed with oil. Also pretty powerful stuff. God's spirit was so full in that room that the air was thick. No joke. I've never felt His presence in quite that way before. I have every belief that Shaun can be healed.

The fast ends on Sunday. I think I'm feeling led to fast longer than the 21 days. I don't feel like I'm done, and honestly, I don't feel like I've taken this fast seriously enough. I've followed the guidelines well enough, but I don't feel like I've prayed and studied the Word the way I should have. So tomorrow I'm beginning a 3 day total fast. I'm going to try my best to make it to Sunday with no food- only juice and water. During those 3 days I'm going to pray and read non-stop. I feel in my heart that God is asking this of me. It will probably be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I actually considered calling the fast off tonight, since we had all been prayed for. What wishful thinking! :)

During the next 3 days I will be praying for the healing of Shaun's mind. I'll pray for my marriage and out finances. I'll pray for my Grandma's healing. But most of all I'll pray that God will show me contentment in my life, no matter what the circumstance. That, I believe, is the key to true happiness.

The Devil's agitated

I heard at church yesterday that the Devil gets agitated when you fast and pray and, for lack of a better word, attacks you. I definitely feel like he's agitated with me. Chris and I have faced some major trials since last week, and so far this week isn't looking much better.

I had this fantasy that I would begin my fast and the struggles in my life would immediately improve. What a joke! If anything, things have gotten worse- Shaun's behavior is awful, he got another bad report card, Jordan's been sick, I'm depressed, and our finances our suffering. One thing's for sure: Satan really knows how to push our buttons.

But I realized something today. My blessings will come AFTER the fast, not during. I really feel in my heart that God is getting ready to work some major miracles in my life- it makes sense that Satan would be angry about that. He (Satan) wants to see me miserable. And he knows that God's going to bless me for fasting. So of course the Devil's going to try anything and everything to discourage me from fasting. I'm determined to stay strong. I may even fast for 20 more days, if that's the way God leads. Who knows? I'm learning to stay open to new possibilities.

We sang a new song at church yesterday that was so fitting to my situation right now. I've heard it once before, but was extra blessed by it yesterday. The chorus is:

"So I will praise you in the good times and bad; I'll praise you whether happy or sad. I'll praise you in all that I go through because praise is what I do. And I owe it all to you."

Wow. Talk about a reality check. I was in such a horrible mood yesterday. That song put me in my place. My prayer is that I'll always be able to give Him praise, regardless of my circumstances.

Big bad jump

I think I've sprained my ankle. To make a long story short, I thought I was on the last step to the stage at church last night. I jumped down without looking and twisted my ankle. I can barely walk and its swollen and bruised. If its not better tomorrow I'll have it x-rayed.

I've had a terrible day today. First, obvisously, I was in a lot of pain. Its so annoying to not be able to do anything. Then Shaun got his report card. He still has Ns in math and reading. This is confusing because his grades on the work he's been bringing home have been improving. They also say he's not focusing as well as he had been. Don't know what will come of that. He's got a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow, so we'll see what he says. After we got home this afternoon, Shaun had a major temper tantrum. He was totally out of control. Thank goodness Chris was here to help with him. Once it was over, he was good for the rest of the night.

All in all, a very discouraging day. I've been crying off and on since this morning. I feel like Satan is using Shaun to discourage me in my fast. I hate that! I hate feeling like this, and my heart is breaking over this issue with school. I feel like I have absolutely no control over anything right now, which stinks since I'm such a contol freak.

Sleepless days

Jordan is no longer napping. Not because he doesn't need a nap, but because the steroid is making him a super-human freak child who never sleeps. I'm overreacting, I know. He actually sleeps pretty well at night, when he finally falls asleep. Its just that he needs his nap sooo badly. He's so tired right now. I tried for 2 hours to get him to sleep. Now its too late, we have to leave in less than an hour to pick up Shaun from school. So, it looks like my afternoon's going to be pretty miserable.

Chris and I are still fasting. We're following the food guidelines, but I have not had much time to ready my Bible or pray. Well, I can pray whenever I want, but I haven't been able to pray like I want. Jordan's been moody and hysterical since he started his medicine and my days have been pretty rough. Satan's tricky like that. Not going to let it stop me, though! We sang a beautiful song at church on Sunday: "I will search for You and I will find You, I will find You with all of my heart; I will lift my hands to You in worship, I will worship with all of my heart". I thought this song was very fitting to kick off a fast with. That's my biggest prayer-to find God and understand his will on my life.

And the fasting begins

I've decided to begin fasting a few days early. Our church begins an annual corporate fast this Sunday, but I'm ready to get started. This is my first time fasting, and I'm excited to see what happens. I'm also nervous. Everyone who knows me knows I love food. I'll even say that I'm addicted to food. I eat way, WAY too much of it. If nothing else, I hope to break this bad habit over the next 23 days.

I went grocery shopping tonight for fruits, veggies, distilled water, and all-natural fruit juice (which is harder to find that you may think). I pray that God gives me the strenghth and will power to complete this fast. In the Bible, God's people are commanded to pray, give, and fast. I think I'm doing pretty well with the praying and giving. I read a verse in the Bible a few weeks ago that stated that some demons can only be conquered by fasting. I'm ready to rid my house and family of all the demons! I'm ready to be closer and more obediant to God. I'm ready to really hear what He has to say to me. I'm ready for a whole new outlook on life. I've heard the first 3 days are the roughest, so we'll see if my attitude changes tomorrow! I'm determined to stick it out.

I went over to my sister's house tonight and watched "Three". We've both read the book it was based on, by Ted Dekker. As usual with books-turned-movies, the book was way better. It was still good, though. It would suck to have three personalities.