Reflections

I turned 27 yesterday. It was actually a pretty good day. I usually get severely depressed on my b-day, but not too bad this year. Chris and I got to go on a date, which was nice. Had lunch at my mom's opened gifts. Got a nap, which was the GREATEST gift of all!

I can't believe that 2007 is over. Hands down, this has been the worst year of my life. Some of the things that stick out the most:

Shaun going into an all out rage at my mom's one day. No one could hold him down. He ran away down the street so fast that no one could catch him. When we finally caught up with him he hit, kicked, left bruises on both my mom and myself. Terrible day.

Meeting with Shaun's kindergarten teachers and hearing that he was below grade level, not speaking in school, not showing any sigs of following a routine.


Learning (finally) that Shaun was bi-polar and has Epilepsy. The diagnoses sucked, but at least we had a reason for his behavior.

Learning Jordan has Ectodermal Dysplasia. Finally breaking down because he was suppossed to be my healthy child.

The utter exhaustion of driving to Atlanta every day one week for doctors appointments.

Jordan's virus that caused a 105 degree fever. Rushing him to the hospital, only to have the doctors say "its just a virus. Go home". Totally not understanding that we didnt give a crap about the virus. We were concerned because he can't cool himself off from high fevers.

Several scary wheezing episodes with Jordan leading to ER visits.

Getting the results of Shaun's psychological testing and learning that he has a learning disability on top of everything else.

Hearing the news that my Grandma has small-cell lung cancer. Watching my mother deal with the fact that, at most, her mother will only be with us from 1-5 more years. Seeing my mom and her sisters break down because of taking care of the woman who has always taken care of them.

Knowing that my marriage was falling apart. Living in the same house with Chris and hating him. The feeling of being stuck- not wanting to stay with my husband but knowing I could not go back to work if I left.

Those are the bad things. It still hurts to remember all of that. But there were also some good, even great, things:

Walking with Shaun down the aisle of our church the day he gave his heart to the Lord.

Finding our church, Free Chapel. So many connections have been made here. We've met many wonderful friends. Chris was able to get a part time job there, which enables me to stay home with our children.

Watching our lives play out with "divine appointments". We've met so many people and have had many opportunities that can only be described as "God things": Chris' job at church, Rex and Archie and families, Pastor Tim Mckinley and the great people at Without Walls of Cartersville. Some have helped us grow in our faith, others have helped us business-wise, but we are so fortunate to have all of them in our lives.

Having my marriage saved. This is nothing short of a miracle.

Learning the true meaning of prayer and worship alongside my husband and finally realizing that no matter how bad things get, we have each other.

Watching my extended family become close again after my Grandma's cancer diagnosis.

Having the opportunity to stay home with Jordan. He is a pure joy.

Simply realizing that we made it through alive!

Seeing it all written down this way makes me realize how good we really have it. Yes, it has been a rough year. I am expecting 2008 to be better. I am excited about the new year- a new beginning. To kick things off, Chris, my mother, and myself will begin a fast next Sunday. We'll be praying and fasting for so many things- Shaun, our finances, the direction of Chris' band, my grandmother's health. Most importantly, that we will find ourselves in God's perfect will. Next December, I'm certain I'll be able to look back and see this as a turning point in our lives.

We're having a little get-together tonight to usher in the New Year. It'll be great to say goodbye to 2007 surrounded by the friends and family who have prayed us though.

Christmastime is (really) here!

Can you believe that Christmas is already here?

We had a wonderful gathering at my mom's house last night with the entire family. Afterwards we came home and Chris had to go on a battery run while I watched "A Christmas Story" and finished up the wrapping. Shaun was up bright at early at 6:30. He loved all of his gifts, especially his sparring gear. Jordan was not into opening his presents at all. He mostly wanted to play with Shaun's toys. Chris got called into work for a while, so that stunk. Now we're trying to entertain the children until 5 o'clock. That's when we go to our Granny's for Christmas: Round 3. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Christmas' Eve's Eve

Its Christmas' Eve's Eve! I've been saying that since I was a little girl. Chris thinks I'm silly, but I LOVE saying it every year!

Today has been busy- again. Shaun was an usher at our church's Christmas service today and he did a great job. The service was wonderful, and my parents got to go with us. That was nice, because they've never been to our new church with us before. After the service, we drove across town to my parents' church for THEIR Christmas program. I spend the time in the nursery with Jordan, so I can't say how it was. I heard it went well, though.

Tonight, we had Round 1 of Christmas gifts at my mom's house. We were all spoiled rotten-- thanks Mom and Dad! We had a great time together eating "breakfast for dinner" and just spending time together. Tomorrow afternoon we'll have Christmas with our extended family, and then on Christmas afternoon we'll go to our Granny's for Christmas again.

The one sore spot in the day was an argument with Chris' mother. She had promised Shaun she would come to church with us and watch him usher. She didn't make it and he was disappointed. She was upset that we are having to wait until next weekend to have Christmas with them because Chris is on call at the hospital and his sister has to work. I had a "word vomit" moment with her and said something I shouldn't have. I am so mad at myself, because I've been praying for our relationship to get better, and my actions today probably set us back another 5 years. Its no excuse, but I have a huge problem with how she disappoints Shaun all the time. But anyway- that's a whole different journal entry.

I have been eating nonstop for the past 4 days. I cannot wait to see how much weight I'm gaining. Ugh. And tomorrow will be more food, and more food the next day. Then my b-day is right after Christmas...why is there always so much food??!!?!?

I'm off to wrap some gifts now. Jordan's asleep, and Shaun's at my parents' house for a "slamber party" with his cousins, so I'm safe from snooping eyes!

Christmas time is here

Today's the first day of Christmas vacation! Shaun was up and bouncing around at 7 a.m. What??!!!?? When I was in school, I would have slept all day on my break if my mom would have let me. Otherwise, things have gone pretty good. The kids have gotten in a few squabbles, but they did let me get the kitchen cleaned. Now Jordan's napping and Shaun's watching the Wonder Pets. He'll get me if he ever finds out I wrote that down!

I went to Shaun's Christmas party at school yesterday. It was great, complete with a visit from Santa and Mrs. Clause and a book exchange. I love watching Shaun interact with his classmates. Its so different from this time last year, when he hardly talked at all at school. God is good!

My dad retired from fire department yesterday. Its going to be a big change for my family. I'm a lot sadder about it than I thought I would be. Not sure why. I guess I never do well with changes like that. At least now he'll be home with my mom every night- I know she'll like that.

Today is also my parents' wedding anniversary. I think its almost 30 years. Wow. What an accomplishment in today's world. I know that no one has the perfect marriage, but they have really set an example for Chris and myself. They've had thier share of trials- most of them, I'm ashamed to admit, were due to the actions of my sister and I- but they've held on to each through it all. They've kept God in thier center- I'm certain that's the main reason they've made it. Thanks, Mom and dad, for showing your children and grandchildren the merits of a Godly, loving marriage. Thank you for passing down your legacy!

Back to normal

Thankfully, things have calmed down a bit. Last night my parents took all of the grandkids to see Christmas lights, so Chris and I were able to do some more Christmas shopping. I think we're almost done. I wait until the last minute every year, so its getting to be kind of fun that way. We got back home and Shaun had a "Bipolar Moment" when he didn't get to spend the night with my parents. Actually, the "moment" lasted close to an hour. He finally calmed down and went to sleep, so all was good. Today was Polar Express Day at school and he wore his PJs. Tomorrow's the last day of school before vacation and we're all excited. I hope my early birds let me sleep in at least until 8 o'clock!

Crazily busy...

This past week has been crazy...so busy. I'm still trying to recover.

First of all, my car broke down on the way home from church Sunday before last. I couldn't get in touch with Chris, so my dad came out and put some oil in it. I was able to drive it home and had no problems the rest of the night. There were no problems the next day until the boys and I were headed home from Shaun's tutoring session. Same thing with the car. Once again, Dad came to the rescue. And once again, when he drove it home, he could find nothing wrong. When we finally got home, I noticed that Jordan was burning up. Sent Dad to the pharmacy for Motrin and a new thermometer and found out J's temp was almost 103 degrees. Not good. I got him comfortable for the night and decided to take the car into the shop the next day. The man at the garage also could not find anything wrong the car. Took J to the doctor and learned he had Strep and would need 3 Rosefrin shots over the next 3 days. Then on Wednesday, Shaun's teacher suggested that I take Shaun into the doctor about his runny nose. I did on Thursday and found out he had a sinus infection. Dropped Shaun back off at school and rushed home to get Jordan back in time for his appointment. Because this was his 3rd visit in 3 days and he new a shot and pain were coming, he chose to throw a MAJOR tantrum in the exam room. Finally got out of there. By this time, I'm feeling more than a little tired. I drag myself home to find a message from Shaun's tutor cancelling their session. Hooray! Such good news! Went to Dad's to get Shaun for karate. Drag myself into the studio, made it through his class, picked up fast food for dinner and came home. That's when I started feeling really bad. I mean, worse than I've ever felt before. Got the kids in bed and called Chris, who was in Cartersville setting up some sound equipment that he'd sold. Asked when he would be home, said he was just getting started. Went to bed and woke up the next morning with my throat so swollen I couldn't talk. I could barely swallor. I sounded like a deaf person when I tried to speak, so joke. It stayed that way until Sunday morning. Thank God I'm feeling better now. I have never felt so bad. Anyway- Shaun tested for his camo belt on Saturday morning and did wonderfully. We came home for a few hours and then drove back to Oakwook for the Karate Christmas party. Did some shopping on the way home and made it to church at 7:30 am the next morning. I got to enjoy the children's service with Shaun and then we headed upstairs for the "big service". After church we had a Christmas party with the worship team Chris is a part of. Then we drove to Hiawassee, a good hour and a half in the mountains to get some computer programs for Chris' new studio. It was snowing up in the mountains-- so beautiful! Then we came home and crashed. I thought our drama was over, but yesterday I had it out with Shaun's psychiatrist's office staff over a prior approval for his Vyvanse prescription. I won't go into that- at the end of the day, after visiting 2 pharmacies- we got our meds, so all is good. Only 2 more days of school for Shaun until Chrismas vacation! I'm counting the days! Maybe my next entry will not be so long and rambling. I included everything I want to remember!

Better Day

Sunday turned out to be a great day, after all. I think Mamaw had a wonderful time at her party. We ate, gave her a new television, and just had a good time of fellowship with each other. She's feeling a little better today, too, so that's good news.

Here's a picure of Mamaw getting her birthday gift from all of us, and one of her with all of her grandchildren.


After the party, my boys and I went to pick out our Christmas tree. What a hoot. Shaun insisted on wearing his Batman knee and elbow pads. Don't ask me why. Jordan couldn't have cared less about picking a tree. All he wanted to do was pet the "doggies". One of the doggies came complete with a dead squirrel in its mouth. Ew. We managed to pick a great tree, though. Its in our living room. We just finished decorating it, before the kids went to bed. I must admit, it looks beautiful. Shaun really got into it, but Jordan really wasn't interested, once again. He just wanted to climb on everything...the banister, up onto the chest to see the ornaments, etc. Oh well, maybe next year.

Some pictures of us getting our tree, and of Jordan and one of his doggies he met at the tree farm.

Thanksgiving

We've had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We started off on Thursday with finger foods at my sister-in-law Mandy's house. Everything was delicious. We found out Jordan has taken a liking to my sister-in-law's fiancee, Rob. He was pretty content to sit in Rob's lap and watch football most of the time while we were there. For anyone who knows Jordan, getting him to be still is no small task! Chris was disappointed/relieved that his parents didn't show up. On one hand, he was hoping to make ammends with his father since they haven't spoken in almost a year now. On the other hand, there is always lots of drama then they're around. We love them. We're praying for them. There are just a lot of issues with them.

Anyway, we left Mandy's house and drove back home to Murrayville. I had just enough time to get my food into serving dishes and herd everyone into the car to go to my aunt's house. We had a good time, there. It was crowded, crazy, and fun. I kept thinking that this could be my grandmother's last Thanksgiving with us, so I was sad, too. Other than that, we had a blast. We ate and ate, traditional food this time. We laughed. We looked at all the sale papers for deals on Friday's shopping. We took lots of pictures. We ate some more. Finally, we went home. Jordan had not had a nap all day and was getting extremely cranky. We got home and Shaun went right to bed. Jordan, however, preceeded to stay up until midnight and then wake up all night. No one got much sleep.

Friday morning my mom watched the boys while my sister and I went shopping. I purchased lots of Elmo stuff for Jordan and Pirates of the Caribbean stuff for Shaun. Friday shopping was not as crazy in years past. We didn't get started until around 11:00, so most of the "early birds" had already gone home. It was nice to get away without my children.

Tonight was the final installment of the Thanksgiving Holiday. We had dinner at my Granny's. We ate and ate again. I feel so terribly bloated and disgusting right now. I don't even want to know how much weight I've gained. I'm going back to weigh in at Weight Watchers on Saturday. I hope that gives me enough time to at least lose what I've gained this weekend.

After dinner tonight I went shopping again with my mom and sister. I've lost weight and have no clothes that fit me anymore, so my mom bought me some new jeans. I got a smaller size, and they were kind of snug. I put them on when I got home to stretch them out some. When I went to button them, the button popped off! No, it didn't pop off because my jeans were too tight. I don't know what happened. I know that I'm taking them back tomorrow, though. Oh well. We have another busy day tomorrow with church and cleaning. I'll be glad to get back to church. We layed out Wednesday and I missed it!