Reflections

I turned 27 yesterday. It was actually a pretty good day. I usually get severely depressed on my b-day, but not too bad this year. Chris and I got to go on a date, which was nice. Had lunch at my mom's opened gifts. Got a nap, which was the GREATEST gift of all!

I can't believe that 2007 is over. Hands down, this has been the worst year of my life. Some of the things that stick out the most:

Shaun going into an all out rage at my mom's one day. No one could hold him down. He ran away down the street so fast that no one could catch him. When we finally caught up with him he hit, kicked, left bruises on both my mom and myself. Terrible day.

Meeting with Shaun's kindergarten teachers and hearing that he was below grade level, not speaking in school, not showing any sigs of following a routine.


Learning (finally) that Shaun was bi-polar and has Epilepsy. The diagnoses sucked, but at least we had a reason for his behavior.

Learning Jordan has Ectodermal Dysplasia. Finally breaking down because he was suppossed to be my healthy child.

The utter exhaustion of driving to Atlanta every day one week for doctors appointments.

Jordan's virus that caused a 105 degree fever. Rushing him to the hospital, only to have the doctors say "its just a virus. Go home". Totally not understanding that we didnt give a crap about the virus. We were concerned because he can't cool himself off from high fevers.

Several scary wheezing episodes with Jordan leading to ER visits.

Getting the results of Shaun's psychological testing and learning that he has a learning disability on top of everything else.

Hearing the news that my Grandma has small-cell lung cancer. Watching my mother deal with the fact that, at most, her mother will only be with us from 1-5 more years. Seeing my mom and her sisters break down because of taking care of the woman who has always taken care of them.

Knowing that my marriage was falling apart. Living in the same house with Chris and hating him. The feeling of being stuck- not wanting to stay with my husband but knowing I could not go back to work if I left.

Those are the bad things. It still hurts to remember all of that. But there were also some good, even great, things:

Walking with Shaun down the aisle of our church the day he gave his heart to the Lord.

Finding our church, Free Chapel. So many connections have been made here. We've met many wonderful friends. Chris was able to get a part time job there, which enables me to stay home with our children.

Watching our lives play out with "divine appointments". We've met so many people and have had many opportunities that can only be described as "God things": Chris' job at church, Rex and Archie and families, Pastor Tim Mckinley and the great people at Without Walls of Cartersville. Some have helped us grow in our faith, others have helped us business-wise, but we are so fortunate to have all of them in our lives.

Having my marriage saved. This is nothing short of a miracle.

Learning the true meaning of prayer and worship alongside my husband and finally realizing that no matter how bad things get, we have each other.

Watching my extended family become close again after my Grandma's cancer diagnosis.

Having the opportunity to stay home with Jordan. He is a pure joy.

Simply realizing that we made it through alive!

Seeing it all written down this way makes me realize how good we really have it. Yes, it has been a rough year. I am expecting 2008 to be better. I am excited about the new year- a new beginning. To kick things off, Chris, my mother, and myself will begin a fast next Sunday. We'll be praying and fasting for so many things- Shaun, our finances, the direction of Chris' band, my grandmother's health. Most importantly, that we will find ourselves in God's perfect will. Next December, I'm certain I'll be able to look back and see this as a turning point in our lives.

We're having a little get-together tonight to usher in the New Year. It'll be great to say goodbye to 2007 surrounded by the friends and family who have prayed us though.